So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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