hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
We are two peas in an std pod
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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