I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
