absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
