Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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