My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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