i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
