I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize