The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
