So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize