You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
