Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I am mentally ready for anal.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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