Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Let's paint friendship bongs
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
