i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I am available for nakedness
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
