My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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