Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize