I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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