Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize