i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
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