Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
