How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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