The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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