1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
