this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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