allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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