oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
