I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Randomize
