Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
