Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
