hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
