As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
