Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
