***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
