gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
