THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize