Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize