she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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