the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Did I show you my penis last night?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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