no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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