I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
