Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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