i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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