I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
