I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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