It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
