worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize