I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Randomize