yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize