Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize