He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
is that a dick in a sweater?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
