we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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