areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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