operation have a gay friend backfired
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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