My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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