I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I am spending my child support on dildos
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Randomize
