I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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