Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
