I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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