her vagina looked like bernie madoff
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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