K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
