i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
