her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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