I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
