...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
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