A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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