There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
