Cold hands, warm shart.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
