lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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